what i am doing is so much more fun than what i should be doing.

not that blogging is THAT fun, but it's way better than designing a postcard for a church without making it "too religious." and it's really none of my business, but why is a church paying an ad agency $135/hour to design this postcard? is that really spending the church's money wisely? shouldn't a parishioner volunteer their services for something like this? i know if i attended a church i would volunteer my design services as a way of giving back--and getting out of putting real money into the collection plate*.

apparently if you do something two years in a row, your body gets used to it and starts to expect it. these last few days have reminded me so much of austin and sxsw. the weather has been so nice and today we went to upstream for lunch, which was all decorated for mardi gras. something about a daytime party atmosphere totally reminds me of being on 6th street at 2:00 in the afternoon drinking in open-air bars and talking about movies. *tear* i'm going to really miss going this year.


*i'm going to hell.

if i had a million dollars...

seeing those 8 people from lincoln win the jackpot got me thinking about what i would do if i ever came into that much money. i'd also like to know what other people would do, so if you actually read this, please answer the following questions.

1) what would be your first BIG purchase?
my dream car. a corvette*.

2) would you quit your job? if so, would you get another one?
i would quit my job, but would open our version of the alamo drafthouse in omaha where i'd do all of the design and advertising. i'd also hire all of my capable friends to handle the other aspects of the business. i would probably keep doing some freelance design for fun, too.

3) would you give any money to charity?
the jerkface and i discussed a plan for charitable donations if we ever had a lot of money. i think it's a good one. for every extravagant purchase (ie. the corvette, a home theater system, etc.), we would have to match the money spent on that and give it to charity. so if my corvette cost $40,000 then i'd give $40,000 to charity. actually that might make the money go really fast, so let's say we'll match half.


*probably a 2003 because i still love the flip-up headlights and the '03 bodystyle is my favorite.

div class="losingIt"> need to write something other than code.

my head is officially about to explode. i can't handle any more CSS or XHTML. i was coding in my sleep--and not coding CODE, but coding weird things like my alarm clock and blankets and other stuff that didn't make any sense whatsoever.

apparently my ipod loves coldplay and hates trent reznor. after the NIN concert she just sat there and gave me the sad ipod face for about 5 hours--to the point where i thought i would have to return her to apple. then during the coldplay concert last night i felt compelled to check her status, and wouldn't you know she turned right on. i'm just waiting for her to suddenly delete my whole NIN collection sometime. i probably shouldn't tell her that i personally enjoyed the NIN concert more than coldplay. i mean both were great performances, but trent and the gang rocked my world.

i've also dedided that i really don't like big arena concerts. i think that's mostly what ruined my coldplay experience. first of all, i like to stand on a general admission floor. i like the freedom to come and go as i please. it sucks walking through the crowded, tight aisles of an arena where you feel like an ass every time you have to make people move. i like being able to wander around and get different views of the show, and the comfort of knowing that if i really tried, i could stand right by the stage. i like to drink my $3.25 rolling rock as opposed to the $5.50 butt light. i like not having to pay to park. i like not having to wait in line for hours trying to leave a show. i like not paying $25 dollars in taxes and "convenience charges" on top of my over-priced admission. i like having the realistic opportunity of being able to meet the artist.

so i vow not to waste any more money, patience and time on those big concerts--unless one of the following artists comes through town: radiohead, bruce springstein or boston (yes, boston). this also means that my favorite musicians are not allowed to get any more popular, so if you don't already listen to the following artists, please don't start: ryan adams, tegan & sara, rilo kiley, the decemberists, the shins, halloween alaska, guster, death cab, modest mouse, built to spill... (there's more but these are the main ones).

that's enough of that. back to programming. ugh.

why my brother and i should get at least $500,000 each.

I just got off the phone with my older brother and we came up with a whole bunch of million dollar ideas. So even though the internet is a public place and people can steal our brilliant thoughts, nobody reads my blog so I'm not concerned about posting a few of them.

1) XBL:
Remember when Vince McMahon came up with the Xtreem Football League (XFL)? Well, let me be the umteenth person to tell you why it failed. Mainly, people already like football as it is. Duh. Because in football violence is natural, stratgery* is involved and during football season Sundays don't consist of a horrible church ceremony followed by 10 hours of depression counting the time until the next workday starts. Vince**, it's not the most popular American sport for no reason; don't ruin an already good thing and waste valuable ideas and money.

My brother and I would like to propose the Xtreem Baseball League. Now we haven't planned the entire thing out, but the basic rules go as follows:
a) Basemen are defenders. When someone is running towards a base, the baseman does whatever it is in their power to stop them. Physical violence is encouraged.
b) Base runners don't drop the bat. Because basemen are defenders, the runner keeps the bat as a weapon in order to touch a base.
c) There are no homeruns. Basically the baseball field is put into an areana-like stadium where the ball can be hit high and hard into a wall, but the only way to score a "home run" is to hit the shit out of the ball, take the bat, run the bases, destroy the basemen, touch each base and land on home plate before somebody beans the baserunner with the baseball.
d) The fielding team can bean the baserunner with the baseball to get them out. This doesn't require much explaination, but how sweet would it be to see a third baseman throw a guy out by launching a ball at his head going 70 mph.?

Ok, that's all we have for now, but see how it's already cooler than the XFL?


2) WWCD? T-shirts.
This idea was totally my brothers but I helped out a little so therefore it goes on the list. Charlie Weis was recently named the head Notre Dame football coach, and since both my brother and I grew up Catholic, we figure we have the right to profit off this situation. The word on the street is that Charlie is god-like. I know it sounds crazy, but that's just why our WWCD paraphernalia works. I have already Photoshopped Charlie's face onto the Notre Dame Touchdown Jesus mural, and that image begs to be screen-printed on a T-shirt. I'm picturing "WWCD?" on front and the doctored mural on the back. Other T-shirts might read, "Have you accepted Charlie Weis as your lord and savior?" Oh, blasphemy is so funny.


3) The real "Survivor."
I'm just going to post the exact definition of the word survivor here:
- a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.

That's right, the show "Survivor" you currently see on TV is falsely advertised. In our show, the losers would actually die like they're supposed to. Richard Connell would be proud.


Anyway, that's just the beginning of our ideas; we have so much more where that came from.


*Thanks, Dubya.

**I just have to say that even though this was a completely stupid idea, thank you for the wonderful bird's eye shot that has continued to be used in actual football.

it's snowing, now it's sunny, now it's a blizzard.

In my office I have a window behind me and every time I have turned around today something different has been happening outside. When I first got to work it was sunny, then there were flurries, then the sun came back out, now there's a thick snowfall with giant flakes. I'm so confused!

I don't know about anyone else, but I really want to figure out what's going on with the weather—or have some really smart scientist figure it out and tell me. It's not just where I live either; it's the whole world. There have been unusual snowfalls and cold weather in Europe, unseasonably high tempuratures across the midwest, record hurricanes in the south, significant glacial melting in the north and I'm sure a lot more.

*We pause this post for a weather update: It's sunny again.*

Anyway, I really want to know the truth about global warming. After Hurricane Katrina there was a debate about whether or not it even existed, and it's difficult to know which scientists to trust. Are we the ones causing the greenhouse effect to be more ... effective? This week the Bush administration made what I think is an interesting move to study the potential endangerment of polar bears caused by their loss of environment. In other words, all of their glaciers are melting away causing a lot of them to disappear and there's speculation that global warming is a large factor in this. Not that the Bush administration would really do much about it if it's proven to be true, but at least it's a start.

So for all of you scientists who study climate, global warming, the environment and happen to read my blog, please figure out what's going on and what we can do about it. Especially because I just ran outside and built a snowman and it already melted.

"you do what you have to do."

If anyone ever wants to get punched in the face by me, all they have to do is say in that condescending tone, "you do what you have to do." Holy crap, I hate that. I can't quite portray the exact patronizing delivery here, but if you've heard it before, you know what I'm talking about. And if you've said it before, then you're a huge jerk.

I was told this at work today because I had committed to participating in something over a month ago, but a project unexpectedly came up at work that apparently was more important than my prior engagement. Although everybody knew I had a commitment, my coworker put me in a really bad spot by basically forcing me to choose my job over this other thing. And he finished the conversation by saying, "Well, you do what you have to do."

*Me imagining punching him in the face.*

What really pissed me off was the fact that I felt like I was being treated as if I did something wrong. I mean, I know I'm a horrible person for wanting to follow through with something I committed to and everything... And what's worse is that I really could have handled the work situation when I got back from my other engagement.

Blah. Ok, I've vented. I feel better. Plus I will be drinking beer soon, which always helps with situations like these.

if i love sleep so much, why didn't i marry it?

If there's one thing I hate, it's waking up. It doesn't matter how late it is, or how much sleep I got, or whether or not I wake up to an alarm, or even if I'm in the middle of a horrible nightmare where the only thing that would save me from being slowly devoured by a giant spider was to wake up--I hate waking up. Not once have I awoke* and thought to myself, "man, I feel great. I'm so ready to get out of bed." Never.

I have been known to sleep until 3:00 in the afternoon on many occasions. It doesn't help that our bed is REALLY comfortable. And it really doesn't help when I have my cute little kitty sleeping on me and I don't want to disturb her. I look forward to weekends more for sleeping than anything else. The biggest thing I dislike about my job is getting out of bed to go to it. I wish there was something I could do about it because I'm consistently late for work and the thought of getting up early always puts a damper on everything for me. Even on my wedding day when I should have jumped out of bed, I wanted to hit the snooze button.

I would like to know if it's something psychological or if anything's physically wrong with me. Although once I'm awake, I really don't have problems throughout the day unless I got very little sleep the night before. I think part of it is the fact that I'm a control freak, so on the weekends I sleep really late because I want to and nobody can make me get up. Who knows. All that matters is that tomorrow is Saturday and I can sleep as late as I want, dammit. The Jerkface is lucky he proposed to me first.


* or waken, or awaken, or awoken, or woke up. do we really need this many different ways of saying one thing?

yes, but can you eat the butter cow?

As everyone knows, this weekend is the Superbowl and as a 2nd-year tradition I will make my infamous*(**) football-shaped cheeseball--complete with dried beef “pigskin” and cheese laces. In the catergory of dairy sculptures, mine wins. Now that I'm thinking about it, I should also make the beloved football-shaped Rolo cookies.

I really like hosting parties, which I think is in my blood. My mom is an excellent hostess and from what she tells me, her mom was too. I love pulling out fun dishes that I never get to use and making food that people will enjoy. My only complaint about this particular annual party is that the Superbowl is on a Sunday night. Shouldn't the following Monday should be some sort of national holiday? Sure I can go out drinking until 2:00 in the morning on a Tuesday, but then I only have 3 days left in the week. When parties fall on Sunday nights, I have the whole week to feel like shit until I can sleep in on Saturday. Nevertheless***, it should be a good time.



*i'm exaggerating

**i don't care if everybody in the blog world uses the asterisk, it's such a wonderful literary tool and i'm going to admittedly jump right on that bandwagon

***i still can't believe nevertheless is one word. it sounds fine, but spelled out it looks pretty crazy

and i'm blogging

For some reason, I felt the need to have a blog today. I'll probably regret it tomorrow, but that's what they make the "delete blog" button for. Mostly I noticed that I have a serious lack of inner monologue, so I'm hoping this will help with that. It's getting ridiculous. I must look like an escaped mental patient in the grocery store because whenever I'm there, I absolutely cannot avoid talking out loud. To nobody. If I can't find something, I just ask myself, "Where would that be?" as I wander the store. Or if I'm looking at something I'm unfamiliar with, I have to talk it out. "What's the difference between Albacore and Light Meat? Does it matter? Should I call my mom again?"

And it extends beyond the grocery store. People at work notice it all the time. They know to ignore me unless I actually address them. Luckily I have cats at home, so that at least gives me some excuse. Except for the fact that I'm TALKING TO CATS. I rehearse conversations, too. And not just serious ones that you should plan out, I mean I will actually script how I'm going to go home and tell my husband I saw a cute little squirrel running across the street carrying a giant corn cob in its mouth. So there's me in my car talking to myself, and I know people know the difference between singing and talking when they observe my schizophrenic actions from the safety of their own vehicles.

I remember one time when I was younger; my family went on vacation to a bed and breakfast. While I was in the shower, I acted out something--I can't even remember what now, but I was just yapping out loud for the entire duration of my cleansing. After I got out, I walked into the room where my family was all laughing. They asked what I was singing, and I actually said, "Oh, I wasn't singing, I was talking." Cause that was better. I mean it's common for people to SING in the shower, but dammit I should make sure nobody thought I was doing that.

Sigh.

So we'll see how this goes. It probably won't help, but at least I'm trying.