why my brother and i should get at least $500,000 each.
I just got off the phone with my older brother and we came up with a whole bunch of million dollar ideas. So even though the internet is a public place and people can steal our brilliant thoughts, nobody reads my blog so I'm not concerned about posting a few of them.
1) XBL:
Remember when Vince McMahon came up with the Xtreem Football League (XFL)? Well, let me be the umteenth person to tell you why it failed. Mainly, people already like football as it is. Duh. Because in football violence is natural, stratgery* is involved and during football season Sundays don't consist of a horrible church ceremony followed by 10 hours of depression counting the time until the next workday starts. Vince**, it's not the most popular American sport for no reason; don't ruin an already good thing and waste valuable ideas and money.
My brother and I would like to propose the Xtreem Baseball League. Now we haven't planned the entire thing out, but the basic rules go as follows:
a) Basemen are defenders. When someone is running towards a base, the baseman does whatever it is in their power to stop them. Physical violence is encouraged.
b) Base runners don't drop the bat. Because basemen are defenders, the runner keeps the bat as a weapon in order to touch a base.
c) There are no homeruns. Basically the baseball field is put into an areana-like stadium where the ball can be hit high and hard into a wall, but the only way to score a "home run" is to hit the shit out of the ball, take the bat, run the bases, destroy the basemen, touch each base and land on home plate before somebody beans the baserunner with the baseball.
d) The fielding team can bean the baserunner with the baseball to get them out. This doesn't require much explaination, but how sweet would it be to see a third baseman throw a guy out by launching a ball at his head going 70 mph.?
Ok, that's all we have for now, but see how it's already cooler than the XFL?
2) WWCD? T-shirts.
This idea was totally my brothers but I helped out a little so therefore it goes on the list. Charlie Weis was recently named the head Notre Dame football coach, and since both my brother and I grew up Catholic, we figure we have the right to profit off this situation. The word on the street is that Charlie is god-like. I know it sounds crazy, but that's just why our WWCD paraphernalia works. I have already Photoshopped Charlie's face onto the Notre Dame Touchdown Jesus mural, and that image begs to be screen-printed on a T-shirt. I'm picturing "WWCD?" on front and the doctored mural on the back. Other T-shirts might read, "Have you accepted Charlie Weis as your lord and savior?" Oh, blasphemy is so funny.
3) The real "Survivor."
I'm just going to post the exact definition of the word survivor here:
- a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.
That's right, the show "Survivor" you currently see on TV is falsely advertised. In our show, the losers would actually die like they're supposed to. Richard Connell would be proud.
Anyway, that's just the beginning of our ideas; we have so much more where that came from.
*Thanks, Dubya.
**I just have to say that even though this was a completely stupid idea, thank you for the wonderful bird's eye shot that has continued to be used in actual football.
1) XBL:
Remember when Vince McMahon came up with the Xtreem Football League (XFL)? Well, let me be the umteenth person to tell you why it failed. Mainly, people already like football as it is. Duh. Because in football violence is natural, stratgery* is involved and during football season Sundays don't consist of a horrible church ceremony followed by 10 hours of depression counting the time until the next workday starts. Vince**, it's not the most popular American sport for no reason; don't ruin an already good thing and waste valuable ideas and money.
My brother and I would like to propose the Xtreem Baseball League. Now we haven't planned the entire thing out, but the basic rules go as follows:
a) Basemen are defenders. When someone is running towards a base, the baseman does whatever it is in their power to stop them. Physical violence is encouraged.
b) Base runners don't drop the bat. Because basemen are defenders, the runner keeps the bat as a weapon in order to touch a base.
c) There are no homeruns. Basically the baseball field is put into an areana-like stadium where the ball can be hit high and hard into a wall, but the only way to score a "home run" is to hit the shit out of the ball, take the bat, run the bases, destroy the basemen, touch each base and land on home plate before somebody beans the baserunner with the baseball.
d) The fielding team can bean the baserunner with the baseball to get them out. This doesn't require much explaination, but how sweet would it be to see a third baseman throw a guy out by launching a ball at his head going 70 mph.?
Ok, that's all we have for now, but see how it's already cooler than the XFL?
2) WWCD? T-shirts.
This idea was totally my brothers but I helped out a little so therefore it goes on the list. Charlie Weis was recently named the head Notre Dame football coach, and since both my brother and I grew up Catholic, we figure we have the right to profit off this situation. The word on the street is that Charlie is god-like. I know it sounds crazy, but that's just why our WWCD paraphernalia works. I have already Photoshopped Charlie's face onto the Notre Dame Touchdown Jesus mural, and that image begs to be screen-printed on a T-shirt. I'm picturing "WWCD?" on front and the doctored mural on the back. Other T-shirts might read, "Have you accepted Charlie Weis as your lord and savior?" Oh, blasphemy is so funny.
3) The real "Survivor."
I'm just going to post the exact definition of the word survivor here:
- a person remaining alive after an event in which others have died.
That's right, the show "Survivor" you currently see on TV is falsely advertised. In our show, the losers would actually die like they're supposed to. Richard Connell would be proud.
Anyway, that's just the beginning of our ideas; we have so much more where that came from.
*Thanks, Dubya.
**I just have to say that even though this was a completely stupid idea, thank you for the wonderful bird's eye shot that has continued to be used in actual football.
posted by dub at 8:29 PM
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