for myself

my memory fucking sucks. i wish it were laughable, but it's just sad, really. i used to have some decent short-term memory, but that disappeared when i got knocked up and never returned. lately i've been feeling that what little memories i do have slip away by the second, and as i notice the voids, i feel a tightening in my chest — an anxiety of losing parts of myself forever.

in this world of information-on-demand, i'm horrified by the realization that there's no google in my mind. there's no way to search archives that have disappeared. so i'm trying to make a commitment to myself to blog again — not to really entertain anyone, not to expose myself (i honestly don't give a shit if anyone reads this again ever.) i just want need a diary of memories that i can search through and read as time continues to fly by, because in the end i feel like experiencing moments and creating memories are what life is all about.