stuff i've found interesting in the past week

1) dresses at the oscars are really ugly and unflattering. the oscars have probably the highest concentration of beautiful people in one place, yet that's the night hollywood starlets apparently decide they're tired of looking amazing. this is unacceptable to those of us who don't have the opportunity to have someone custom-design a dress for us and do our make-up and hair.
*to gorgeous actresses* listen you ridiculously stunning women, more power to you if you want to wear a unique dress to the oscars. i commend originality. but don't forget one of the fundamentals of being a popular hollywood actress--looking way better than all of us.* instead of wearing a dress made of shag carpet and strands of cabbage patch doll hair, perhaps try something in a nice chiffon. also, it doesn't hurt to consider the color of your skin before picking out a dress so you avoid looking either dead, frozen or jaundiced. finally, one thing i'll never understand is how some of these dresses make you size-negative-one women look fat. for one, how is that possible? secondly, why would you want that? whether you're trying to "look more normal" or "pretend you're pregnant" or "pretend you're not pregnant," it's not flattering, so knock it off. but if you really want to look more normal, eat some pizza.**

2) keith olbermann types like a freak. if you don't know who keith olbermann is, he's the awesome host of countdown on msnbc. there was a story about him this weekend and they showed a clip of him typing a story. basically his left index finger only hits the space bar, and his right index finger performs the hunt-and-peck method, minus the hunting. he doesn't look down while he's typing and he's really fast at it. i wonder how many words he types a minute.

3) i really don't like mob shows. i happened to catch that new show on nbc monday night called the black donnellys and despite the beautiful cinematography, excellent acting and great music, i got completely annoyed. mobs seem so idiotic to me. here's a typical mob scenario: father from family "a" gets killed by mob guy "b," friend of father from family "a" (aka. father from family "c") beats the shit out of mob guy "b," friend of mob guy "b" (aka. mob guy "d") kills father from family "c," father from family "c"'s son (aka. johnny***) always wanted to avoid mob activities but is now pulled into the scene by having to avenge his father's death. then more death, more ass kicking, more shootings, more of nothing getting accomplished, everyone dies, the end.



*in fact, we pay you to.

**according to g-spice.

***cause there's always a kid named johnny in mob movies or shows

i'm going to be great at giving birth

so today i had the first cavity filling experience of my life. i know that's nothing revolutionary, but when you're a creative person with an over-active imagination and a bunch of needles and a drill in your mouth, it's not exactly easy to just pass off. i have always been scared of shots and physical pain, but the older i get, the more i realize the fear mostly comes from the fact that those things aren't usually in my control. for example, i had my ears pierced when i was younger but i let them close up. later i wanted them pierced again, and the idea of me taking some ice and a needle to my ears was somehow more comfortable to me than going to claires to have the studs shot through my lobes by someone else. so i that's what i did and it really isn't bad (in case you were looking for something to do the next time you're drunk or high).

another example is with tatoos. now i can't exactly give myself a tatoo, but in my head that kind of pain is ok to me, too. it's pain by choice. my choice. plus the tatoo artists i've been to are always kind enough to take breaks when i ask them to, so in a way i have control of when the pain is being inflicted.

this whole cavity filling thing was not like that at all. about a week ago my tooth was starting to feel a little weird when i chewed on things, so i thought i should get it checked out. today i was just expecting them to take a quick look and then schedule an appointment for next week or something––so i'd have time to freak out over the weekend at least. nope, that didn't happen. i show up, they look at my tooth, have me bite down on some weird stick thing and the next thing i know they're sticking me with needles...

*red alert. happening too fast. must breathe. one shot isn't numbing me enough? breathe again. good lord, how long does it take to squirt some more damn novocane into my gums? get on with it! breathe. oh god, is that a drill? i use one of these to hang pictures in my house. what the hell is that smell? have a taken a breath in the last 3 minutes? is my mouth numb enough yet? i don't know, i can still feel something... kind of like pain, but that could just be me freaking out. oh great, really? another shot? why do these damn shots take forever! ...and we're drilling again... keep eyes closed. think about something else... something other than a drill in my tooth and that horrible smell. we can put people on the moon but drilling a tooth still takes this long? ok, he stopped. keep eyes closed. and oh yeah, breathe. oh fuck, they're opening my mouth again. and fuck again, i hear that stupid drill... but wait, what the hell is this? did they triple the size of bit they had on that sucker before? why? this can't be good. think of something else... like breathing... or whether or not abc would have the balls to kill of meridith. they would have my respect forever if they did... phew, he's stopped. and reassured me that the hard part is over! cool! now i just hold this uncomfortable position for the next 10 minutes and try not to move even if i have to swallow. because that will mess things up. hold still. keep holding. never mind that overwhelming urge to attempt to swallow. ok, fine. give in and try it... that didn't help at all. keep holding still. what the hell is that beeping thing? and now we have a new smell, but at least there's no more drilling. it seems like he's done! now we have to what? even what out? dammit, it's that mother fucking drill again! this should go quick though, right? ... right? ... ok, this sucks even worse than i thought it would. man, i'm a wuss....*

tommy, the lion king and i rent joseph and the amazing technocolor dreamcoat... with cats

ever since i was little my mom has been taking me to musicals. it's something that we have always done together, so i've grown to really appreciate that time we share. this week we saw the lion king, and i just really enjoyed it*. somehow after i leave the magic of the theatre, i forget how great i feel while sitting there taking in the beauty of such amazing talent. i almost always get choked up at some point during musicals, not necessarily because of the story but because there's always that breathtaking moment of perfect harmony between everything i love in the art world: a fun story, amazing music, incredible singing, beautiful set design, phenomenal dancing, witty comic relief... it's almost too much for me to handle.

this inspired me to make a list of my top 5 favorite musicals, so here it is in no particular order:

cats. this is the first musical i really remember seeing so it will always hold a special place in my heart. plus the dancing in cats is incredible.

rent. seeing this with my mom in early high school was great. she wanted to be offended, but couldn't.

tommy. a deaf, dumb and blind kid playing pinball, electric guitars and the who. yeah, pretty sweet.

the king and i. i saw this one on broadway. enough said.

joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat. i saw this when i was pretty young and remember thinking this was somehow blasphemous. maybe that's why i like it.



*i've pretty much enjoyed every musical i've been to except starlight express, sorry a.l.w., but holy crap that's on a whole new level of sucking. "whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo - nobody can do it like a steam train. whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo - everybody's waiting for their dream train." seriously?

open-apple z

you know you spend way too much time on a computer when you think that everything can be undone with two simple buttons. like when you are almost finished making a necklace and you realize that you bent something too far and the first thought that enters your mind isn't "oh fuck, i have to start this 45-minute project all over," but rather "ehh command z" followed by the even more frustrating realization "oh fuck, i have to start this 45-minute project all over."

then there are those insanely heart-wrenching situations you hear about from a friend. the kind where you wish god would hit command z. i received a horrible phone call from a dear friend last night that physically hurts my soul when i think about her and what has happened. it seems like just when i think this world can't get any more fucked up, that's when i get a phone call like this. my mind races with angry questions and my heart feels like it's on fire. how could life turn so bad for someone who doesn't deserve it? how will she ever heal or be the same? why did this have to happen? seriously god, can you please undo this?