what happened in vegas
i think i spent the last 4 days in vegas. i mean i still hear the clinking and pinging of slot machines, everything i own smells like smoke and other people's hand sweat, i know i haven't been to work this week, and my bank account seems a little... empty. so that must be it. it was fun, but went really fast.
for anyone going to vegas sometime soon, here is a list of dos and don'ts:
do go to the hofbräuhaus for giant beer, good music and delicious sauerkraut
don't drink three of said giant beers and then let some nice austrians buy you a shot pear schnapps
do try to find the most affordable hotel to stay in
don't expect the route to your room in these hotels to be easy or even remotely direct*
sub don't let your mom get an adjoining room with you and your husband in vegas
do cheer on your 85-year-old great uncle as he kicks ass in a poker tourney and wins the whole thing
don't laugh too hard when your 31-year-old brother is out of a poker tourney in about 15 minutes
do at least try to understand craps and even throw the dice
don't effing crap out after 4 throws because people don't like it when you lose their money
do listen to cover bands in vegas because they always rock
don't be surprised at how terrible drunken, middle-aged white people dance when listening to said cover bands**
do go to a strip club on a whim
don't go to a strip club when you're really drunk because you end up spending way too much money for not really remembering a whole lot
do get an appreciation for penny slots
don't try to think about how much money you've lost before you really discover the beauty of gambling for one cent
*i believe there were 2 sets of escalators, 1 staircase, 4 hallways and an elevator involved
**except for that one suspiciously hot, flexible woman who is probably an escort to that not-so-hot older man
for anyone going to vegas sometime soon, here is a list of dos and don'ts:
do go to the hofbräuhaus for giant beer, good music and delicious sauerkraut
don't drink three of said giant beers and then let some nice austrians buy you a shot pear schnapps
do try to find the most affordable hotel to stay in
don't expect the route to your room in these hotels to be easy or even remotely direct*
sub don't let your mom get an adjoining room with you and your husband in vegas
do cheer on your 85-year-old great uncle as he kicks ass in a poker tourney and wins the whole thing
don't laugh too hard when your 31-year-old brother is out of a poker tourney in about 15 minutes
do at least try to understand craps and even throw the dice
don't effing crap out after 4 throws because people don't like it when you lose their money
do listen to cover bands in vegas because they always rock
don't be surprised at how terrible drunken, middle-aged white people dance when listening to said cover bands**
do go to a strip club on a whim
don't go to a strip club when you're really drunk because you end up spending way too much money for not really remembering a whole lot
do get an appreciation for penny slots
don't try to think about how much money you've lost before you really discover the beauty of gambling for one cent
*i believe there were 2 sets of escalators, 1 staircase, 4 hallways and an elevator involved
**except for that one suspiciously hot, flexible woman who is probably an escort to that not-so-hot older man
posted by dub at 7:26 PM
4 Comments:
I would add a "don't" to the strip club: don't go with your significant other when he is already quite wasted and let him drink more upon arrival at said club, as he will pass out within ten minutes and want to go back to the hotel.
Ugh, although I like the longevity penny slots afford you, I *hate* slot machines in general. I like feeling kind of in control with poker and blackjack.
all those don't make me really want to go to vegas
You let your mom have an adjoining room in the CITY OF SIN?! WTF were you thinking?
And um, what did you spend money on in the strip club? Were the chicks hot? Didn't you get jealous with your husband there? Or was he there?
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. MOSTLY ABOUT THE STRIP CLUB.
Sorry for yelling. But, I get so jealous or something.
I'm gonna stop typing here now.
amg - you and i need to have a girl's night at harrahs and play some slots. i will make you like them.
julie - vegas is much more fun when family is not involved
lori - i didn't LET my mom have an adjoining room, she planned that one when i wasn't around.
as for the strip club, my hubby and i have a pretty open relationship. i know he loves me and i'm lucky enough that he tells me how hot he thinks i am all the time. as for the money... that was blown on personal dances from the really hot girl that we both liked.
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