am i there yet?
being the "artistic type," i could potentially be considered an indoor kid. sure, i played volleyball and ran track, but i never quite fit in with the jocks. i also was a decent student, but definitely not smart enough to fit in with the brainiacs. so the thing i can't figure out is how i never quite fit in with the people who never quite fit in. for some reason that's always brought to my attention when i go to things like sxsw.
obviously the reason i'm here is to watch fun, different, weird, scary, intersting movies, but i also catch myself watching the fun, different, weird, scary, intersting people. for those of you who don't know your texas geography, austin is where the artistic culture thrives -- artists, musicians, film makers, etc... also, if you're a texas democrat, you most likely live in austin. i love austin. you often see stickers or buttons that read "keep austin weird." and that's truly why austin is so cool. so of all places, i should fit in here... right?
maybe i expect too much. i guess in my mind it's like i'm a foreign exchange student who can live happily in my daily life as a 8-5 working woman living in conservative suburbia, but i long to be "home." "home" in this case is being around liberal, artistic people who have similiar interests and think about the same things i do. people who get completely annoyed with shitty logo design and don't think that someone with 4 colors in their hair is "bad." people who feel that missing work for a week to go on vacation and enjoy life is a good, healthy decision and not a "lack of commitment to the company." people who get choked up at musicals. people who care about others and crave positive change in this world.
don't get me wrong, i do have people like this in my daily life -- my awesome husband, for example. but i want more, and i guess i keep excpecting to feel completley surrounded by people like that when i'm here. instead i almost feel even more out-of-place. maybe that "home" i dream about doesn't actually exist, because this is life and people are different and that's the way it always will be...
obviously the reason i'm here is to watch fun, different, weird, scary, intersting movies, but i also catch myself watching the fun, different, weird, scary, intersting people. for those of you who don't know your texas geography, austin is where the artistic culture thrives -- artists, musicians, film makers, etc... also, if you're a texas democrat, you most likely live in austin. i love austin. you often see stickers or buttons that read "keep austin weird." and that's truly why austin is so cool. so of all places, i should fit in here... right?
maybe i expect too much. i guess in my mind it's like i'm a foreign exchange student who can live happily in my daily life as a 8-5 working woman living in conservative suburbia, but i long to be "home." "home" in this case is being around liberal, artistic people who have similiar interests and think about the same things i do. people who get completely annoyed with shitty logo design and don't think that someone with 4 colors in their hair is "bad." people who feel that missing work for a week to go on vacation and enjoy life is a good, healthy decision and not a "lack of commitment to the company." people who get choked up at musicals. people who care about others and crave positive change in this world.
don't get me wrong, i do have people like this in my daily life -- my awesome husband, for example. but i want more, and i guess i keep excpecting to feel completley surrounded by people like that when i'm here. instead i almost feel even more out-of-place. maybe that "home" i dream about doesn't actually exist, because this is life and people are different and that's the way it always will be...
posted by dub at 10:06 AM
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